handjob tips. give me some.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
