But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
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well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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