remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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