Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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