and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
