life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
