She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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