I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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