This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
