We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize