I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
