I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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