ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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