I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
