you traded sex for a burrito?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
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Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
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I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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