You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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