Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
