Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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