both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
