You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
