okay pat passed out under dana's car
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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