at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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