So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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