i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
