Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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