There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
