I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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