I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
