Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
