final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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