I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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