I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
