Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you would pick up someone in the library
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
