yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
