maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
