I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
