2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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