Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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