If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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