I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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