i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
