Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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