the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
