I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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