you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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