there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
