I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
