had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
