dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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