I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize