Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
