my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
