U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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