woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
