And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
either way he was missing a nipple.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
