ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
