I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
