i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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