so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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