I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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