I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
