apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize