Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
