Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
