So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
