New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Are these your boobs on my camera?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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