It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
