So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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