i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Randomize
