You can't special order awesome
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
