she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
