Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
